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Wednesday, July 25, 2018

People Who Provoke Reactions, Why?

The Question was:

Q. What would you call people who provoke you to get a reaction?
(I mean; besides having an obvious personality disorder.)

Though I have been blessed in my life with so many good people and friends... 
I have also like many people have been a victim of demeaning, phony people and antagonizers in my life- so I’m very in tune with it, even I get tired of it and I’m very patient and so so many chances are given.
(I’m a straight up person- I pretend at nothing so if I don’t like someone, I don’t play them but I treat them accordingly- as they treat me!)
It’s absolutely annoying to give someone so many new starts for them to continue on with their inflictions and disorder - the best way to deal with this twisted type is to lessen your time with them!!!
find a friend who won’t make you utterly miserable by being so unpredictable and unreliable, 
Don’t ever say it’s better than no friend and nobody has no friend... because one useless and antagonizing friend is really not a friend and it’s not your job to fix stupid, your job is only to forgive but not to be abused. 😊😂

Found on Quora:
I think this answer was the best though most comes naturally as we defend ourselves naturally:

Yes there is a name for such behaviour. Someone with borderline, antisocial or narcissistic PD in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). 
A difficult person in your life might not have a full-blown  personality disorder; they may just have related traits that express  themselves from time to time. It still takes a toll on your well-being and self-esteem to be around them.
Here's a short list of the types of people I would lump into the "unreasonable":

Those  you can't have a reasonable conversation with; they somehow twist your  words or totally confuse you and then tell you that you're the one who  doesn't know how to communicate
People who make subtly or overtly demeaning comments or say cutting things to you disguised as a "joke"
Those that don't respect boundaries and seem to enjoy stepping all over one after you've placed it
The  types that aren't willing to consider your point of view or listen to  your side of things (or just stare at you blankly, or laugh, or explode,  when you try to explain "how you feel")
Verbal or emotional abusers (these can also range from subtle to overt)
People who leave you feeling bad, sad, shaky or feeling sick in the pit of your stomach
"Crazymakers,"  a.k.a. people who provoke you into acting crazy or unbalanced (and love  making you feel like there's something wrong with you when you do),  when your behaviour across the rest of your life is proof that you're  not
The excessively charming who are too good to be true and have an ulterior motive
You know who I mean.
Now,  here are the things I've learned about how to handle them and minimize  the damage to yourself, your days, your sanity and your life:

1) Minimize time with them
Keep your interactions as short as possible. Minimizing your exposure to pathology goes a long, long way.

2) Keep it logical
You know, those "when you do X it  makes me feel Y" communication tactics we're taught in relationship  books. This type of heart-centered communication only works with  reasonable people who care. Unreasonable people usually don't care, and  their response (or lack of it) will often only make you more upset. Keep  communications fact-based, using minimal details.
3) Don't drink around them
Though  it's tempting to knock back a glass of wine or two when you're around  people like this, it will only make you more emotionally vulnerable and  more likely to do or say something useless that will either make you  look bad, make you feel bad, or make you more of a target.
4) Focus on them in conversation

A  way to avoid being the target of demeaning comments, manipulation or  having your words twisted is to say as little as possible. Volunteer  minimal information and get them talking about themselves (if you have  to be around them or talk to them, that is)—they are a far safer  conversation subject than you are.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

What’s Enough

If you have God,
Even if the whole world is up against you
You know that every little thing you 
do may not really count to anyone
here But it counts to God and that’s
Whatever you can give 
is enough...
If you have money to give- its enough!
You have time to give- its enough!
If you have strength to give- Its enough!
Whatever you give is given in love
and that’s why it’s enough and it’s given to glorify God and that is enough. 
So do what you can when you have nothing because it really is enough. 


~Angel Cher